Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops