why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

Dyslexia ruels!

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

What's 9+ 10?! 19

How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...