My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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Peas

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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thomas!!!!

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops