How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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watch a i d s left

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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