What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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hi

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops