what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

JUST KIDDING^

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

I am very humble.

Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...