What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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