Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -17

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Women's rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A sober Irish individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops