Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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dassa

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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