Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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whos district champs not JM

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops