What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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You suck big fat slobber

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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