When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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Gun Control

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops