Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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haha

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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Illumati Confirmed

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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