ok

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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how may i help you

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops