A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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