What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Heartlight

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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i have a christmas tree.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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