What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

Look whos talking Matt Critchley

What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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