Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Mitt Romney

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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child labor

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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