What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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