A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops