A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Cleveland winning something

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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