Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops