200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Moooo

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops