While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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TELL

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops