Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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cats are pussies

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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