How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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out of your comfort zone

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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everybody loves raymond

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Penis

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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