Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops