Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Bob dole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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