What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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