What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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