wanna hear a joke? no.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops