How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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Matty B

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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