"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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