Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Iggy Azalea

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Unnnnnnnn

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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25

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space is fun

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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