How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

get on your knees and make a donut face:)

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

7

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

Hearpin my durp

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...