What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

Why did the man fall down? He got shot

Flab

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

There was a dedicates Muslim man on a plane. He was travelling to Melbourne for a business conference so he could help support his family as well as he can.

You should never talk to strangers.

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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