Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

Can I touch it?

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

Farts smell bad!

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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