Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Women's sports

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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stop it ryan vallee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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