What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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A Banana wrote this...

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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