Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Josh kissing a girl

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Yes. Just Yes.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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