A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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maddie latino

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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sixty....eight.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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