How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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