What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops