Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A bar walks into a man

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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