How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops