What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Gale swallows.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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