Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Kony 2012

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops