Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Good to see you today!

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Chikin nuggets

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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