Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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