Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

whats worse than a kane nothing

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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